I’ve been trying to rack my brain for reasons why anybody would vote for Trump. What qualifies him in their eyes? I mean he has never been elected to office, he never served in the military or any public capacity of any kind. He is best known as a successful business, which hgas shown time and time again to be a very dubious claim, what with the bankruptcy, investors holding the bag and the trail of unpaid bills he has left in his wake. We can’t even look at his taxes to see if he is anywhere near as successful as he likes to claim.
So I thought i would check out what should be the quintessential source for selling Trump the Presidential candidate, his website. Specifically the ‘About’ section. Let’s get into it…
First Paragraph
Donald J. Trump is the very definition of the American success story, continually setting the standards of excellence while expanding his interests in real estate, sports and entertainment. He is a graduate of the Wharton School of Finance. An accomplished author, Mr. Trump has authored over fifteen bestsellers, and his first book, The Art of the Deal, is considered a business classic and one of the most successful business books of all time.
Trump, the son of a wealthy father, went to private schools, given a million dollars seed money to invest in New York real estate and was able to go to Wharton is somehow the “very definition of the American success story” It’s a true riches-to-riches story of perseverance that could only happen in America. He has authored best-sellers...so has Stephanie Meyer. Nonetheless, this is opening paragraph.
Second Paragraph:
During the 2014 political cycle, Mr. Trump was a top contributor and fundraiser for Republican efforts. Mr. Trump also campaigned across the country, with each candidate winning by a record margin.
Whatever, I guess, who cares, although the implication that his campaigning for candidates (of which I could find no evidence he did so) lead to record margin victories is, well, dumb.
Third Paragraph:
Mr. Trump has over 7 million followers on social media. He frequently uses this platform to advocate for Conservative causes, Republican candidates and to educate the public on the failures of the Obama administration. Mr. Trump appears on Fox and Friends on Monday mornings and devotes much of his time to media interviews in order to promote a Free Market, the importance of a strong family, a culture of Life, a strong military and our country’s sacred obligation to take care of our veterans and their families.
Yes, this is the third paragraph, espousing is social media presence and his experience as a talking head. So far in three paragraphs we have that he is an author and a social media presence, who contributed money to Republicans. Oh yeah, he is the epitome of the American Dream.
Fourth Paragraph:
Mr. Trump has long been a devoted supporter of veteran causes. In 1995, the fiftieth anniversary of World War II, only 100 spectators watched New York City’s Veteran Day Parade. It was an insult to all veterans. Approached by Mayor Rudy Giuliani and the chief of New York City’s FBI office, Mr. Trump agreed to lead as Grand Marshall a second parade later that year. Mr. Trump made a $1 million matching donation to finance the Nation’s Day Parade. On Saturday, November 11th, over 1.4 million watched as Mr. Trump marched down Fifth Avenue with more than 25,000 veterans, some dressed in their vintage uniforms. A month later, Mr. Trump was honored in the Pentagon during a lunch with the Secretary of Defense and the entire Joint Chiefs of Staff.
Mr. Trump, who has long supported veteran’s causes, cites his major achievement, Grand Marshalling a Nation’s Day parade in 1995...the “fiftieth anniversary of World War II”. Over 1.4 million viewers watched Trump March down FiftheAvenue...and some veterans were there, too.
Fifth Paragraph:
In New York City, the Trump signature is synonymous with the most prestigious of addresses, among them the world-renowned Fifth Avenue skyscraper, Trump Tower, the Trump International Hotel & Tower, Trump World Tower at the United Nations Plaza, 40 Wall Street, and Trump Park Avenue. His portfolio includes the historic Mar-a-Lago Club in Palm Beach, Florida and his ever expanding collection of award-winning golf courses (seventeen thus far) which span the U.S from Los Angeles to New York, New Jersey, Washington, D.C., and Florida, and internationally from Scotland and Ireland to Dubai. He recently added the iconic golf resorts of Turnberry, Scotland, and Doonbeg, Ireland, to his portfolio and Trump National Golf Club Washington, DC, has been highly acclaimed. The Trump Hotel Collection has grown to include properties in Chicago, Las Vegas, Waikiki, Panama and Toronto in addition to Trump SoHo/New York and the acclaimed Trump International Hotel & Tower on Central Park West which once again won the coveted Mobil Five-Star Award as well as the Five Star Diamond Award from the American Academy of Hospitality Sciences. The Trump International Hotel & Tower Chicago was awarded the #1 Hotel in the US and Canada by Travel & Leisure Magazine. Recent acquisitions include the iconic Doral Hotel & Country Club (800 acres) in Miami, and the historic Old Post Office Building in Washington, D.C. which is being developed into a world class luxury hotel. Seen as a generational asset by the Trump family, the redevelopment plan will infuse the building with new life. Groundbreaking was in July of 2014.
Of course, this is the crux of Trump’s “accomplishments”, luxury hotels and golf courses. This is it, this list of places your average American will never ever go to, cannot afford to go to is his claim to the Presidency. I could go on about all the failures not discussed, the ruined lives he has left, but I want to keep something in mind, this IS HIS PAGE, THIS IS HIS BEST ARGUMENT...some hotels and golf courses.
Sixth Paragraph:
Mr. Trump is the Emmy-nominated star and co-producer of the reality television series, “The Apprentice” which quickly became the number one show on television, making ratings history and receiving rave reviews and world wide attention. “The Celebrity Apprentice” has met with great success as well, being one of the highest rated shows on television. The Apprentice’s record fourteenth season premiered in January, 2015. “You’re fired!” is listed as the third greatest television catchphrase of all time. In 2007, Mr. Trump received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, and he is among the highest paid public speakers in the world. The Apprentice has raised over $15 million for charity.
Heh, only Emmy nominated, not even an Emmy winner. Sad! And behind two other catchphrases (uncited).Sad! Among the highest paid speakers in the world, but not the highest? Sad!
Seventh Paragrpah:
Mr. Trump was born in Queens, New York. He is married to Melania Trump and father to Donald Trump Jr., Ivanka, Eric, Tiffany and Barron. He is a proud grandfather of seven.
Mr. Trump is a human person and has had sex as evidenced by his kids and they have also had sex, hence the grand kids.
There we have the entirety of Trump’s own case for himself to be President: 1) American Dream recipient; 2) Author of books; 3) Kingmaker; 4) Grand Marshall; 4) Developer of luxury hotels and golf course; 5) Television something-or-other; and 6) human person who has spawned other humans.
Let me give you just one paragraph from Hillary Clinton’s ‘About’ page…
Hillary Clinton has served as secretary of state, U.S. senator from New York, first lady of the United States, first lady of Arkansas, a practicing lawyer and law professor, and an activist. But the first thing her friends and family will tell you is that she’s never forgotten where she came from or who she’s been fighting for throughout her life.
D-A-A-A-A-A-A-MN! Boom (PS. also a best-selling author)